Basically what I have is:
I know I can execute the close pop up command on the user BUT thats only when he has that window active. if the user closed the window it's no problem since the window is already closed. Is there anyway I could close his pop up while he does not have it active?
you could try to include javascript code into this popup.
Then you're pulling ajax request and if the close command is requested on an ajax response, you simply exit the page (which is in the popup).
Have you ever tried to develop a chat application? What it does is regularly check the database for any new message and updates the chatboxes on either side. Now you can do the same thing but with a lil bit of customization.
When a user enters the chatroom, as far as i could understand from ur text, he does so in a new window. So, while launching a new window, save the handle for it. Like this:
var myWindow = window.open("foo.html","windowName");
Now have an ajax script on the parent page that regularly checks the server for your commands. When you want that user to kick out of the room, make a signal to the server point (maybe a database or a file) that the ajax script is consulting. Now, as soon as the ajax gets the signal, make it to fire a close signal like this:
myWindow.close();
This is one solution. The best thing is here instead of closing the window, you may redirect that window to a more informative page that tells him why was he kicked out!